


Coming out

by Drago



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, angry Yunho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22500613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drago/pseuds/Drago
Summary: “I just wanted to be free,” Changmin huffs. “Don’t you want to be free?"“Free? What does that even mean?”Yunho won't  ever be able to come out.
Relationships: Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin, Shim Changmin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 24





	Coming out

The smile slips off Yunho’s face the second they are in the car, and he busies himself with his phone, even though usually he is the last person to do it around other people, since he finds it rather disrespectful. But it’s just Changmin and their Japanese manager, so he doesn’t have to play nice.  
The atmosphere has been tense for the past few weeks, and from the corner of his eye Yunho sees Changmin squirming in his seat like he always does when he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to approach the subject. It’s a habit he didn’t manage to shake off even in his thirties, and in the past, Yunho would come to the rescue, initiating the conversation. Not anymore. He is tired of playing the role of an understanding older friend. The two year gap between them isn’t much, and if Changmin has something to say he needs to learn to do it by himself. Take some responsibility.  
And for once he does, in a rather clumsy fashion.  
Their flat in Tokyo is quite small. One bedroom with two beds because they usually travel all over Japan and sleep in hotels. They bought it together, Yunho doesn’t even remember why they thought it would be a good idea, but they did, and now they have to live with this decision. It didn’t used to be a problem, but nowadays Yunho’s skin itches when they are too close to each other. He doesn’t like it, but sometimes people just drift apart.  
He takes a shower, not even pretending to offer Changmin to go first. He pretends that he can’t hear the other man talking on a phone to someone. He makes sure to be loud once he is done cleaning up, banging around while he looks for his moisturizer to announce that he will be getting out soon.  
Changmin jumps him the second he is outside, eyes wide open and anxious.  
“Hyung...” he says, and Yunho almost laughs in his face. Nowadays, Changmin calls him that mostly for show or when he wants something. “I was thinking you could maybe meet Mika tomorrow?”  
“What for?” Yunho rummages through the bag looking for a clean shirt to sleep in.  
“Well… She is my girlfriend, and I thought...”  
“She’s been your girlfriend for eight months now, right? You didn’t think it’s necessary to introduce her then, why would you do it now?”  
“I just… it’s official now, so...”  
“Exactly,” perhaps, Yunho’s voice is too sharp, but he is exhausted and wants to go to sleep rather than listen to Changmin try to appease his guilt. “It’s official, you clearly don’t need my approval.”  
“That’s not true!”  
“If it wasn’t, you would have discussed it with me before you told the whole world about your relationship. But that’s not what happened, therefore I see no need to go out of my way to meet your girlfriend.”  
“I just wanted to be free,” Changmin huffs. “Don’t you want to be free?”  
“Free? What does that even mean?”  
“You too could be open about your relationship, if you have one.”  
Yunho whips around, enraged by the sheer audacity of that statement.  
“First of all, I would have told you if I was dating someone. I take my responsibilities towards you and our company seriously. But, more importantly, in what world would _I_ be ever allowed to come clean about my relationship? Huh?”  
“I just thought… if you found someone special...” Changmin seems to realize that he made a huge mistake and tries to backtrack, but there’s no taking back what he said. The damage is done.  
“If I find someone special I will have to be more careful than ever, Changmin. Or have you forgotten than not everyone is as straight as you?”  
“I thought… maybe… bisexual?”  
“Speak in full sentences,” Yunho scolds the younger man. “And no, you know damn well I am gay.”  
He is breathing harshly, angry at Changmin, angry at the situation they are in. At the country he calls home. When he came out to his family, his parents and grandparents refused to speak to him until he _apologized_ for being different. Unnatural. Even his sister didn’t take it well, although she did her best to hide it. Even though he did apologize, they don’t talk about it, ever. When Yunho is home, he is not allowed to be gay. He also isn’t allowed to be alone with Jihye’s daughter. His band mate knows about it, so for him to suggest that Yunho could ever have what Changmin has, or that Yunho could date a woman just to get the happy ending Changmin might get…  
It’s offensive and hurtful, even if the younger man didn’t mean it that way.  
“I am gay. A fucking faggot. I won’t ever be allowed to come out if I don’t want to ruin everything we have, so keep this naive bullshit for your girlfriend. I’m going to sleep now, don’t bother me anymore.”  
Yunho lies down with his back to Changmin. He is still boiling with anger, so he knows he won’t fall asleep anytime soon, but if they continue talking he might say something he will regret, and there are still many concerts to go before they’ll be allowed a proper break.  
Changmin tries to be quiet when he putters around the room beforegoing to the bathroom. He is there for almost an hour, but he doesn’t call his girlfriend again, so Yunho assumes it’s because he is trying to give him space.  
When Changmin finally goes to bed, Yunho hears him toss and turn, clearly still wound up from their argument.  
“Hyung, I’m sorry, I should have told you about her earlier. I’m sorry you can’t be open about who you are, I...” Changmin whispers behind him, but Yunho keeps still, pretending to be asleep.


End file.
